Hygiene 101: Touching the Butthole

     When meeting a companion, good manners are the best way to ensure that you both have an enjoyable experience. The second best way is impeccable hygiene. 

     In the week leading up to your session, brush and floss twice daily. If you don’t get bi-annual dental cleanings, try to schedule one a few days before the session. Not the day of! Brushing and flossing can open tiny cuts in your gums, so you should avoid cleaning your teeth right before we meet. If you’re coming to see me, I will direct you to freshen up with a shower. Please avail yourself of the mouthwash! 

     When showering at my space, you will note that I have provided you with a towel, a washcloth, and a robe. The washcloth is not a suggestion. Typically it is fine to wash with just soap and your hands; however, a washcloth is essential for enjoyable intimacy. It serves three functions- 1) It gets into cracks and crevices that may be too narrow for your hands. 2) It exfoliates. This isn’t something you need to do everyday, but lightly exfoliating your body weekly removes dead skin cells that cause body odor. 3) It removes loose hair. If you don’t regularly exfoliate, your body hair may shed at inopportune times. No one wants hair in their teeth!  

     Now that you have the washcloth in your hands, you should use it vigorously! Lather it up with body wash and scrub away. There’s no need to chafe yourself but you should take care to scrub all your skin and pay special attention to the nooks and crannies. This means: armpits, toes, skin folds, and especially your groin. If you are not circumcised, be sure to pull back your foreskin and clean underneath. 

     And finally, turn your attention to the most important aspect of person care- cleaning your butthole. This is an essential and too often neglected part of hygiene. “But Phryne” you may say “I don’t want anyone to go near my butthole.” That’s fine of course, but you should always clean your ass before intimacy. Any smells or unwashed bits will be very apparent when a partner is between your legs. Please follow Phryne’s steps for a sparkling booty:

  1. Choose your weapon. Washcloth or fingers are acceptable.
  2. Turn your back to the shower head and let the water run between your cheeks.
  3. Move your legs apart and tilt your pelvis back so that your cheeks separate. 
  4. Using your finger or a washcloth, very gently scrub the exterior of your booty hole. Rinse and repeat until clean. 
  5. (optional) If you are hoping for attention to your booty*, a more thorough clean is necessary. Insert the first knuckle of one finger (covered with the washcloth if you prefer) into your butt. Make 2-3 circles with your finger. Remove, rinse, and repeat 2-3 times. 

     Once you are squeaky clean, dry off thoroughly! Don’t forgot to dry all the crevices you just washed, and your hair if it is damp. 

     Slip on the cloud-soft robe and come join me…

*These instructions are not sufficient preparation for anal sex/pegging. Please see a comprehensive guide to deep cleaning here. 

You don’t need to apologize

…for gaining weight

…for losing weight

…for being short

…for being skinny

…for being fat

…for being a virgin

…for having many partners 

…for having a smaller than average penis

…for having an average penis

…for taking a long time to come

…for not coming

…for coming quickly

…for only wanting to talk

…for only wanting to cuddle 

…for only wanting sex

…for having a fetish

…for having a kink

…for seeing companions

…for being married

…for being single

…for never having touched a woman intimately 

…for never having touched another human intimately

…for loving sex

…for masturbating

…for being asexual

…for being shy

…for being nervous 

…for needing guidance 

…for asking questions 

…for being assertive

…for having boundaries

…for saving up to afford my time

…for seeing other companions

…for liking toys

…for not knowing what you like 

…for having a disability 

…for saying “no”

…for being submissive

…for being dominant 

…for only booking an hour

…for being chronically ill 

…for having a terminal illness 

…for only seeing me once 

…for seeing me every day 

…for wanting affection 

…for needing affection

On being out to my family

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All of my immediate family members know that I am a companion. Many of my vanilla colleagues do as well. My mother goes out of her way to check Phryne’s Twitter account if I haven’t texted her in a few days. My graduate advisor asks after my safety and points out typos on my website. 

Despite being out to the majority of my family and friends, I did not enter this world aiming to be so open about my choice of career; rather I came out gradually as I grew tired of bending the truth for the (perceived) comfort of the people closest to me. There have certainly been some emotionally charged conversations, but by and large I am glad that I have the privilege to be out to my family, because it gives me a valuable opportunity to extend a nuanced view of sex work to people outside of this community. 

My mom is my #1 cheerleader. My father prefers not to talk about this aspect of my life. Between these extremes there is a vast range of discomfort, fascination, and confusion. As an educator, I embrace these reactions as a chance to counteract the often harmful and vitriolic rhetoric surrounding sex work. Where a close friend might once have taken such rhetoric as fact, I can provide an alternative narrative that highlights the many benefits of paid companionship. It may take several conversations, but when I teach my already sympathetic friends about my choice to become Phryne, they can in turn share that knowledge and spread awareness even further.