Hygiene 101: Touching the Butthole

     When meeting a companion, good manners are the best way to ensure that you both have an enjoyable experience. The second best way is impeccable hygiene. 

     In the week leading up to your session, brush and floss twice daily. If you don’t get bi-annual dental cleanings, try to schedule one a few days before the session. Not the day of! Brushing and flossing can open tiny cuts in your gums, so you should avoid cleaning your teeth right before we meet. If you’re coming to see me, I will direct you to freshen up with a shower. Please avail yourself of the mouthwash! 

     When showering at my space, you will note that I have provided you with a towel, a washcloth, and a robe. The washcloth is not a suggestion. Typically it is fine to wash with just soap and your hands; however, a washcloth is essential for enjoyable intimacy. It serves three functions- 1) It gets into cracks and crevices that may be too narrow for your hands. 2) It exfoliates. This isn’t something you need to do everyday, but lightly exfoliating your body weekly removes dead skin cells that cause body odor. 3) It removes loose hair. If you don’t regularly exfoliate, your body hair may shed at inopportune times. No one wants hair in their teeth!  

     Now that you have the washcloth in your hands, you should use it vigorously! Lather it up with body wash and scrub away. There’s no need to chafe yourself but you should take care to scrub all your skin and pay special attention to the nooks and crannies. This means: armpits, toes, skin folds, and especially your groin. If you are not circumcised, be sure to pull back your foreskin and clean underneath. 

     And finally, turn your attention to the most important aspect of person care- cleaning your butthole. This is an essential and too often neglected part of hygiene. “But Phryne” you may say “I don’t want anyone to go near my butthole.” That’s fine of course, but you should always clean your ass before intimacy. Any smells or unwashed bits will be very apparent when a partner is between your legs. Please follow Phryne’s steps for a sparkling booty:

  1. Choose your weapon. Washcloth or fingers are acceptable.
  2. Turn your back to the shower head and let the water run between your cheeks.
  3. Move your legs apart and tilt your pelvis back so that your cheeks separate. 
  4. Using your finger or a washcloth, very gently scrub the exterior of your booty hole. Rinse and repeat until clean. 
  5. (optional) If you are hoping for attention to your booty*, a more thorough clean is necessary. Insert the first knuckle of one finger (covered with the washcloth if you prefer) into your butt. Make 2-3 circles with your finger. Remove, rinse, and repeat 2-3 times. 

     Once you are squeaky clean, dry off thoroughly! Don’t forgot to dry all the crevices you just washed, and your hair if it is damp. 

     Slip on the cloud-soft robe and come join me…

*These instructions are not sufficient preparation for anal sex/pegging. Please see a comprehensive guide to deep cleaning here. 

Leave a Reply